Light in the darkness

No one would come here, unless they had to.
No one would walk these streets, unless they were forced to.
No one would live here, unless they had nowhere else to go.

It's depressing to live here. It's depressing to be surrounded by dirty cars, dilapidated roads, demolished and disgusting homes. If you can even call these homes. The one place with Christmas lights up- they never take them down, and not even half of them work. You can see, smell, taste decay. The forlorn face of a five year old, the toothless woman, the alcoholic father: it's dark here. And everybody knows it.

The neighborhood with the perfectly manicured yards, the brand new cars, the swing set in the back: it seems different. Christmas lights strung up perfectly, Rudolph's red nose flashing on the rooftop. The neighborhood where people are happy to live, not scared to go out at night, where people want to raise a family: it seems different.

But it's not. It's dark there, too. Families are broken, guns are smoking, and children are toking just the same. You just can't see it from the road. The decay is on the inside, while the outside seems squeaky clean. It's dark here, even if the neighbors don't know it.

Can we evade brokenness? Can we outrun darkness? Can we escape the hopeless place which is the face of this earth? Can we ever expect peace, or are we just waiting for the darkness to consume us? The sun burns bright for half the day, if we're lucky. But it's not enough. It can't burn through the darkness, through my darkness. 93 million miles away is close enough to warm my face, but not my heart.

I need the sun to touch me. I need the sun to move into my neighborhood. I need the sun to do away with the dirt, dust, dilapidation. I need light to shine.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Into this brokenness, this darkness, Jesus moved in. Into this dust, this decay, Jesus took up residence. Not afraid of trailer parks or private drives, Jesus moved in.

He didn't want merely to do away with darkness; he wanted to touch it, to consume it, to overcome it. He came close. Jesus dwelt in the dirt, in the darkness, born in a barn and born in flesh. And the light shined. Did away with disease, defeated way, loved the loveless, gave hope to the hopeless, made the world clear for the blind. Destroyed death. Destroyed darkness.

God cares about people in darkness. 93 million miles was too far for him; he wanted to dwell with his people. He wanted to be Immanuel- God with us. He wanted those living in darkness to know that he delighted in them, to feel the warmth of the sun in their hearts, to see the light of day in their world. He wanted them to dream in the daylight, a dream of what their streets would look like with Christmas lights not just hanging up during the winter, but rather the Christmas Light hanging out there year round. Dwelling there, year round. He wanted them to live in the security of his hope, his love, his peace, his joy.

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.
You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy;
they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest,
as warriors rejoice when dividing the plunder.
For as in the day of Midian’s defeat, you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders,
    the rod of their oppressor.
Every warrior’s boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire.
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness
    from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.

Isaiah 9:2-7

Tomorrow is the Resurrection

In my first week of being a "pastor-in-training" I got asked if I wanted to make a hospital call, to go and visit someone who was in the hospital. It wasn't going to be a normal hospital visit; Bruce was on his deathbed. He had less than forty-eight hours to live. He had a white blood cell count in the millions. He had a misdiagnosed disease that was now destined to destroy his life. Just a week earlier, Bruce was on the golf course, thinking he had a normal life, and now, he was surrounded by his children, grandchildren, wife, and siblings. Dying. "He could die tomorrow," the pastor told me, "he could die today."

I had never witnessed such an intimate, vulnerable, raw time with a family before. These people were gathered together to take their last communion with their father. They were staring death in the face, and they didn't know what to do. They were lost in emotion, fear, and pain. So they did the only thing they knew to do: run to the cross, cling to the heavenly Meal, the foretaste of the feast to come. Hold on to the promises of the Prince of Peace, even- no especially- in the presence of pain and powerlessness.

I saw Bruce in church last week. Three months after getting a two day death-notice, he is still living. He made it through three death sentences, and he is close to full remission. Walking, laughing, golfing, living. He willingly admits he has experienced the miraculous. But the changed heart is something that is not as seen. He has a new perspective on life, on God, and especially on death. 

Last week, the Church celebrated "All Saints Day." The Church celebrated all the Christians who have died in the faith, the faithful lives they lived, and the hope we all have in the resurrection from the dead. Bruce's family would have been celebrating his life, and their hope that Jesus would raise him from the dead. Instead, they were celebrating his life with him. But Bruce was still celebrating the resurrection from the dead.

"Tomorrow is the resurrection," he told me. "One day you die, and the next is the Resurrection." Bruce's words hit me. I was standing in the presence of a man who should have died but was living. A man who should be awaiting Tomorrow. And I was. His experience had brought him to the realization that we are all awaiting Tomorrow, whether we're in the grave or not. Our hope lies in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the one who died but lives. The one who has power over life and death. The one who can do anything.

We are all awaiting Tomorrow, when we will be renewed, in the presence of God, laughing, running, and jumping. We are all awaiting Tomorrow, when we will sit at the Table and feast, no more foretastes. We are all awaiting tomorrow, when we will be reunited with our loved ones who have died before us. Being touched by death made it evident to Bruce, and to me as well. We have hope, even in the face of death.

And, no matter where we are, Tomorrow isn't looking too bad.

Empty Pews

I had the opportunity to preach last weekend. I love preaching. I love being able to impact another person's heart and soul, to confront their perception of reality with transcendent Reality. It is a job I do not take lightly, nor should it be taken lightly.

The church I work at records sermons to put on the web and to give to those people who can't make it on Sundays. I found out this morning that my sermon didn't record right. In the process of finalization, it was all lost. So I'm going to have to re-record it, this time in front of empty pews.

People apologized for the inconvenience this would cause for me. There will be no energy, no feedback, no faces to engage. There will be no build up to the sermon with a wonderful rendition of "Build Your Kingdom Here", no prayers, no praise. Just me, and a microphone, and empty pews.

I look out on empty pews, reminded of the faces that filled them just a couple days before. And I wonder. Did my message change them? Did they live this Monday differently from the one before?
But, as I get ready, I reflect on reality. I do have a listener. I do have two ears and one heart listening in on this sermon, and they might be the most crucial. My own. I get the opportunity to impact hundreds of people's lives through my words, but if my own heart is left unchanged, it is all for naught. If the cause I communicate is so un-compelling that it does not change me, then I have no reason to expect that it should impact others. No reason to utter anything. Will my Monday be different from the one before?

So, I prepare for empty pews. I prepare for one person. The Preacher himself. I have been caught up in a Story, in a Message. And that story is changing my life. And I ask my hearers to go where I am going, too. That means when I tell others to love their spouses, I take that first upon myself. When I tell others to give back- I must take it seriously. We go together on a journey of faith; I am not special. I walk together with all others, asking them if they will come with me on a journey, a journey of re-formation, integration. A journey where we follow a Savior who first traversed the Way he leads us on. A journey with a Savior who bids, "Come, follow me." We go on a journey where the pews must be empty for the Message to move.

The Alpha and Omega (part 2)

Last week, I started a poem on Psalm 119. The psalm is an acrostic of sorts, representing all the letters of the Hebrew alphabet. And so it continues...


ל

Lord, your word and faithfulness carry on forever.
Laws of yours endure unto eternity, preserving my life for just as long.
Limits are put on everything- wealth, fame, goodness- but your commands are without limit.

מ

Meditating on your words, Lord, brings such richness to my life.
More wisdom, more insight, more understanding, more life: all mine because of your word.
My mouth drips with honey when I taste the morsels of Truth and goodness found in your Book.

נ

Now I can see on my path, thanks to the light of your Word!
Not only do I struggle from my own faults, others are doing their best to knock me off your path.
Nevertheless, I have set my heart on keeping your decrees, on sticking to this path forever.

ס

Sick, sinister, sinful people disgust me, and their intolerance for your Word makes me sad.
Sustain me, even though I am tempted to be like those people. You are my only source of life.
Seeing how you deal with sin scares me to death; I stand in awe of your sovereignty.

ע

I am your servant; help me to understand your command, so that I can carry it out.
I am doing my part, Lord. I am looking for you in all places and following your law.
It is time for you to act now, Lord. Punish the lawbreakers, and make my reward your Word.

פ

Pure light pours forth from the unfolding of your words.
Powerful waters permeate the dry desert where your words were lacking.
Please, Lord, place me in your presence, and let no sin rule over me.

צ

Tsunami-like zeal keeps me focused on your statutes.
Tsk, tsk, all you who ignore God's Word! Oh, I'm getting tired of saying it.
Tsk, tsk, you who are distressed and displeased! God's Word could be your delight!

ק

Quietly, in the night, even before the dawn, I meditate on your promises to save me.
Quell the restlessness within me, the fear I have from evil near me.
Quickly have I learned that you are near, O Lord, and your word is in my heart and my mouth.

ר

Redeem me Lord, buy me back, even the worst parts of me; I know you are compassionate.
Rescue me from persecution and pain. I know you use them for your purposes, but I am ready,
Ready and waiting for the fulfillment of your eternal promises. Preserve my life!

ש

Shudder at the power of people? Never. But I tremble when I hear the Lord speak a single word!
Shaking notwithstanding, your words bring me such joy, and I seek to obey them with all my heart.
Shalom, complete peace, comes to all of those who love your law, Lord, and keep your commands.

ת

The lips and tongue you gave me can do nothing but shout and sing, pray and praise your name!
These laws you left us sustain me in this place.
Though I wander like I'm lost, seek me out and find me, Lord. Make me yours.

The Alpha and Omega (part 1)

Psalm 119 is long. Really long. 176 verses long. And this makes it a very intimidating Psalm to read.
But Psalm 119 is a beautiful poem, containing some beautiful truths about the Word of God. And, even though it takes 176 verses, the Psalm doesn't exhaust how much can be said about God's Word for us and to us.

And, tragically, our English Bibles hide some of the rich imagery of Psalm 119. You see, the poem is an acrostic of the entire alphabet. Eight verses dedicated to just one letter, then on to the next. Our vocabulary finds its fulfillment in the very vernacular of our God. From A to Z, Alpha to Omega, Aleph to Taw, our language is rooted in the loving law of God. So, what follows is my attempt at bringing some justice to the aspect of God's all-encompassing Word to the poem, Psalm 119.

 

א

All your commands are good,
Anyone who perfectly keeps them- blessed.
Ah! If only I could... I will Lord, bless me!

ב

Boys have a huge hill to climb to get to holiness,
But I am doing it by dwelling on your word day and night.
Behind every action of mine is the desire to honor and praise you.

ג

Give me life, Lord, do good to me.
Going on this path, I see only what you show me, since my home is with you.
Governors and statesmen mock me, but I find my peace and delight in you.

ד

Deal with me, Lord, when I'm down in the dust and weary with worry.
Determining my path based on your word, my heart is set on understanding.
Don't let me be bound up, for I run fast and free on the way of truth.

ה

Halt, stop, the evil within me, Lord, and turn me toward your righteous words and ways.
Here, right now, I demand you take me by the hand, instruct my head and heart in your holy decrees.
How I long, o Lord, for the fulfillment of your promise! Preserve my life in your righteousness.

ו

Words come at me from all directions, but I hold fast to yours Lord. Keep them coming!
Where obedience means freedom- that's where I will walk.
Whenever words are demanded from me, I will put forth the ones I love- yours.

ז

Zeal for your ancient words brings me comfort, even when people are zealous for wickedness.
Zap my name, you arrogant mockers, but you cannot take away my hope and promise.
Zero songs will I sing, O Lord, if my song is not your decrees, your name, your Torah.

ח

Counting on you, I am sure I will have more than enough- forever.
Consider my ways - so much different from the wicked - as I walk, guided by your face.
Continue to fill me with your love, oh Lord, as the whole earth is filled with your love.

ט

Teach me knowledge, teach me goodness, teach me service.
Tainted, tarnished, tattered: when you afflicted me, God, it pushed me to trust in you even more.
Tons of cash, tireless fame, or time in the spotlight couldn't keep me from keeping your decrees.

י

You are the maker of the earth, You are the giver of wisdom, You are the reason for hope and joy.
You love me without fail, even when others don't.
You are life-giving, life-sustaining; give me life and sustain me. You are "I am."

כ

"Keep going, keep going!" I tell myself, as I press on, tired, toward your salvation.
Kindness is a byword in the mouth of my enemies, and I'm tempted to say the same about you God...
Keep me in your Word and remind me of your love, especially in these troubling times.

Baptism (Romans 6)

Water. Word. My life of death.

I wake up in the morning, supposed to kill myself. Daily dying, I’m already dead-

I’ve been drowned in the font, my robes soaked red.

What does that mean- already dead?
I barely wake up, and sin is in my head. I can’t understand death, or even life, until I look to the death and resurrection of Christ. He died on a cross, on a blood-stained tree, hung lifeless, murdered brutally.
People thought futilely He was done, they put him in the ground, thought they had won.
But they didn’t realize what they actually won.
Jesus came back to life- that’s what they won.
 

Life. In Christ. The one who died but lives.

The price of death was paid, and the power of God was proven. Now he gives
Resurrection life to us- He daily forgives. In addition to that he kills, puts my sin to death on the cross along with Him. And he does it again and again.

See, we have a God who is God of the living. Death doesn’t stop Him, He keeps on giving life,

and new life, it’s a daily thing. Every day that we’re drowned- another day raised.
We have the power of Christ- God be praised for working resurrection in us-
A life of grace and peace, and righteousness.
The life we live- it’s Christ in us.

No longer a slave to sin and evil, Jesus made us His siblings- He made us His equal. Brothers and sisters, washed clean, through water and Word, he gave us everything we didn’t deserve.

We’ve got a daily struggle with death and life, waking up every morning to brokenness and lies. But I’ve got a choice every morning, before getting out of bed; will I hear God’s voice this morning? Will I fall down dead? Will Christ’s life be my life this morning? Will I hear what God said?

Romans 6-

“We were buried with Jesus by baptism into death,

So that we can be raised with him out of that death,

By the glory of the Father we’ve been given new Breath.

Baptism- Jesus gives us resurrection life and does away with our death."

The Right Light

I have failed.

I skipped over four months of writing a blog! I made a New Year's Resolution to myself that I would write a blog every week. It might have been a zealous goal, but I did make a New Year's Resolution. I wanted to challenge myself to write on a weekly basis, to flesh out thoughts, to deepen my understanding of things, to realize more about myself and the world around me. But I have failed.

But I might just be seeing things in the wrong light.

In four months, I have had a child, directed a summer camp, moved to Wisconsin, and started an internship. It's been a little busy, to say the least. I have had different priorities. I have had some different goals and resolutions to make good on, things that far outweigh the importance of a blog that my mom and 4.5 other people read.

In the right light, giving up writing a blog for more time with my wife and son and other work commitments is actually a good thing. In the right light, I am doing better with what I've been given.

What light are you seeing your life in? Are you looking at trivial things and determining your worth? Are you investing your time into the wrong things? You have been given things to do as well. Maybe it's a family, a job, school, sports. You have priorities. Make the most important things most important, and then start blogging (or doing whatever trivial things you enjoy to do).

Thanks for putting up with a four month hiatus. Maybe there's something in your life that needs a four month hiatus as well...

Not even one thing

I try to keep my blog very eclectic, as I hope you have noticed. This week, I have been inspired by a verse from John 3.

"John answered them and said, 'A person is not able to receive even one thing, unless it has been given to him from heaven.'"     -John 3:27

John the Baptist was famous. Everyone knew who he was, and almost everyone went out to be baptized by him. But after Jesus came on the scene, everyone was going to Jesus instead of John. And this angered a few people. These people asked John what was up with everyone going to Jesus instead of him, and this is what he said, "A person is not able to receive even one thing, unless it has been given to him from heaven."

How hard it is to digest this. To take it in, break it down, and make it part of my very DNA. God is Provider. This is the building block of life; nothing comes to us except by his hand. We get nothing except what God gives us.
So then, we are waiters. We wait for God to provide. We wait to receive the blessings and the curses. We wait to make war and peace. We wait on heaven.

And we pray. "Your kingdom come, Your will be done..."

But there is more. Even as John the Baptist stood there telling people that he could only receive what God gave him, he was not only waiting. He was doing- John the Baptist was still baptizing (John 3:23). Why? Why would he do such a thing when he wasn't getting results? "The Baptizer" should be baptizing, but someone else was doing that now.

He was called to baptize, so he did it. In the midst of waiting on heaven, he wasn't passive. He did what God appointed him to do. Whether he failed or succeeded, whether he saw growth or loss, he would baptize and preach.

I like to wait. It's nice waiting sometimes, because when you're waiting, you don't have to do anything. You just... wait. It's all God anyway.
Other times, I like to do. I get tired of waiting, and I start to think, "I need to get things done, because if I don't, it's not going to happen."

My wife and I recently had to move apartments, because we were on the third floor (an issue if you're pregnant), we had a really bad landlord, and we had a serious roach infestation. And I was waiting for God to act. I was waiting to see him do something amazing in our situation- get us into a new apartment and not have to worry about these stresses anymore. I was waiting. And nothing was happening. Telling my landlord we wished to move and having our place up for rent again was not enough. Especially not for my wife...

At the prodding of my wife, I was finally moved to take up the cause and be more active. I did something. I started to do some searching, do some calling and visiting, and do some talking with my landlord. After a couple nasty exchanges with the man and a visit to another apartment, we were on our way out and into a new apartment. We had to forfeit our security deposit, unless he could get someone to rent it by the end of the month we moved (after 2 months of being available already...).

I am thankful for a wife who pushed me to action, otherwise we might still be in that crappy old Ramled apartment! But in the midst of my doing, I forgot to wait on God. However, God was still ready to give. The day before we would have had to forfeit our security deposit, someone moved into our old apartment! While we did something, God was always at work providing for us.

This is just an example, but it has highlighted for me the reality that God provides in the midst of us doing as well as waiting. It is up to God when he will give, what he will give, and how he will give it. And for that, I am hesitantly thankful. Sometimes I want what I do to count, and other times I want to get without doing anything. But it is up to God.

We have received so much from God already. Not to mention life, family, food, etc., this weekend we celebrate the death and resurrection of Jesus. God has granted us pardon and has promised us resurrection and eternal life through this very man.While we wait to receive so much- a baby, a spouse, a new job, healing, even eternal life!- God has things for us to do. So, if you've gotten lazy from waiting or self-reliant from doing, go out and do, even as you wait to receive even just one thing from our Father in heaven.

The colors in between

The sun descends beneath a curtain of colors,
burning its way to another place,
leaving behind a slowly fading fire in the sky.
Darkness settles, warning people:
Without light there is no warmth, no community. 

Hell must be like night,

without a sun. 
No tapestries arrayed with yellow, red, blue,
and all the colors in between.
No kindness from others, no shining smiles,
no summer days outside, with lemonade.
At best, a gray sky,
a desire to see the rising of the sun,
an eternal desire to escape despair.
 
The sun comes back, heralded by gold, and crimson,
rising like a flame to engulf the land. 
Darkness flees across the expanse, faster than it had settled.
Victory is declared, and it is day once more,
as the furious fire climbs higher in the sky.

Heaven must be like daytime,

always warm, with a shining sun,
nothing left untouched by the radiance.
The sun will never rise,
for he has already risen.
And never set,
for he will never leave.
The colors in between will be ushers no longer,
signaling the end of one day, and the beginning of the next.
They will be the bride herself,
dressed in a scarlet robe, and a golden crown,
wrapped in a purple sash- the paintings of a princess.
No more beginnings and ends,
we will be satisfied, dancing, in the eternal light.

More than words

Nothing in my life could have prepared me for March 4th. I had never had any experience close to it, and no moment has been able to compare since. Being awakened with news that is beyond comprehension, crazier than the dreams that were just floating through your brain. My father's words reverberated through my ears, and my eyes were not yet able to take the weight of the broken world in: "There was an accident. Three of your classmates are dead."

Not just three of my classmates. Three of my friends. Three of the 52 students that made up my high school class. Three people that had been with me since elementary school. Lisa McDonald, Carrie Herbst, Dan Perger. The first girl who made fun of me, my first "girlfriend" (it was 6th grade, it's not actually dating at that age). It all didn't sink in until my father said that Dan had died. Of course he had saved this one for last. It killed him as much as to say it as he knew it would hurt me to hear it, the son of our pastor and the boy I had grown up playing with at church. The boy with whom I shared rides to and from basketball practice.

My life was rocked. It was like God was shaking the snow globe of Ethan Luhman; God was shaking the snow globe of South Wayne, and everyone was trying desperately to find their way back to a solid foundation. How are you to process such catastrophe? There is one way, and one way only- through tears. The same tears that come even after eight years.

This is not how it should be. This is not how it should be. We know death is bad and wrong, but sometimes it takes three people dying to be confronted with how terrible it is. I had to be a pallbearer at the age of 15, in my grandfather's suit, looking like hell. At Dan's funeral, I remember having the opportunity to say something, but I could not. I was sitting in the front row of the gymnasium, but the distance still seemed to be much too far. Words were not coming to me. I had the memories and the moments. But it was not in my power to stand up and tell everyone how great Dan the Man Perger was and how much I am going to miss him. As the bagpipes played Amazing Grace, I could do nothing but weep.

I missed the opportunity to let everyone who cared know how much I cared. But at the age of 15, I learned that words can only do so much. The snow globe settles again, and life is comfortable. I have words now. I have things I could tell you; I could tell you about Dan's Confederate flag, his southern heart, and his interest in history. But I have more than words now. I need more than words to communicate to you that Dan, Carrie, and Lisa had an impact on me. They still have an impact on me and on the way that I live.

I was challenged by my "loving" God. It seemed almost counter-intuitive. Trust in an all-powerful God when he doesn't stop three young people from dying? But I did trust. I couldn't make excuses for God, and he does not need me to. I saw Jesus, who came to this earth, to be among his own broken people, to give them more than words. He went to the poor and gave them his time. He went to the diseased and touched them. He healed the sick, raised the dead. Jesus cared about people who were suffering. He cared more about Dan, Carrie, and Lisa, and their families, than I ever could have. Not everyone liked Jesus, and how much he cared for the hurt and lost, so they killed him. God himself went through a gruesome death, and the people who loved him were torn apart, just as I was at the loss of my friends.
This is not how it should be.  I saw Jesus, who did something about death. He confronted it, and he defeated it. He defeated disease, evil, and pain, and he has promised to wipe away every tear from our eyes. My God can do anything, and where I see brokenness, I know God has a plan to bring healing and restoration. He has a plan to bring more than words.

So, eight years later, I finally stand up, to speak. And this is what I have to say: these last eight years I have been trying every day to tell the world that Dan, Carrie, and Lisa matter to me, that their lives and deaths matter to me. I have tried to do it through more than words. I have tried to do it by caring and loving those around me. And I will continue to do this, until Death is no more. Until Jesus comes to us, to wipe away our every tear.

Come and See

Come and see-
the ripple across the stomach, the jostling baby.
A mom smiling, amidst the ceaseless aching there is momentary majesty ,
a husband so proud of her strength and so joyful over a movement.
A movement! He will spend a lifetime telling this little boy to "Stop!"
But, such happiness and warmth in the invitation-
Come, and see.

Come and see-
the noodles and glue, and the glowing boy,
inviting you into his imagination,
creating for you concrete reminders of his joy and love.
Such pride in a horse, and cowboy, and the dinosaur they're chasing.
Noodles! Spilled during supper, burned while baking- nothing special.
But, even Picasso was not as proud when he said-
Come, and see.

Come and see-
the first place medal from the spelling bee.
Grandma and Grandpa, neighbors, cousins, friends at school:
Everyone will know who won the spelling bee!
M-E-S-Q-U-I-T-E
The spicy sweet taste of the victory.
Letters! Words! Ah, thousands, millions are said every day:
But, no one will doubt this one's weight when invited sincerely-
Come, and see.

Come and see-
The bruised face and the broken knee.
A car smashed up after hitting a tree;
Scars imprinted on flesh and spirit remind the boy that he is not invincible,
but friends are shown and family winces; he is proud that he escaped.
Scars! What is so special about rebound flesh- a mark of impurity?
But, it shows the marks of living, it can tell a life story-
Come, and see.

Come and see-
The girl sitting in the shade, picking flowers happily,
the beauty of the sunrise blossoming on the petals, and on her face.
She shows the nervous boy the bouquet, the greatest thing she has seemingly ever seen.
Dandelions! They are hardly even flowers, as they cover the crabgrass.
But, their magic is unmasked in this moment, a girl and boy sharing joy-
Come, and see.

Come and see-
Philip told Nathanael, and he told me.
An amazing man, full of wisdom and grace, truth and love.
The words he speaks are wise and pure;
Whatever he does is done with compassion and care.
He told me who I am, and I am loved.
From Nazareth! From the sticks! Nothing good can come from such a lowly place.
But, wait until you run into him, because he will tell you, too, that you are lovely-
Come, and see.

Where are you?

"The Christian does not live in himself, but in Christ and his neighbor; in Christ by faith, and in his neighbor by love."

-Martin Luther

 

Recently, I was part of a discussion on what it meant to be a Christian. Is it what we believe? Is it how we act? What makes up a Christian? How can someone who is not a Christian identify who is a Christian? For that matter, how can someone who is a Christian identify a brother or sister in Christ?

 

The discussion started by talking about the age we live in, where most people do not believe in God and live like "heathen." No one has any decency anymore. And how do we minister to such people?

 

The ironic thing is that many of these "heathen" do not want Christians to minister to them, because Christians are hypocrites. They are cold, judgmental, arrogant. It seems the whole world knows that Christians are called by Jesus to "love your neighbor as yourself," yet they often appear to be the very worst at it. While ostracizing gay people and others, church people are still getting divorced, arrested for child pornography, and so on and so forth.

 

So, does this mean Christians must first clean up their acts before they can truly be called Christian? If people in the church are actually hypocrites, what can define the body of Christ, and how is someone who desires to be a Christian supposed to act in regard to that?

 

This is about where we got in our discussion. It is a tough issue to work out; inside we are surrounded by hypocrites (maybe we are the hypocrites!) and outside we are surrounded by those who do not believe. So, what does it mean to be a Christian?

 

One person in our discussion talked about faith being a relationship with Jesus. And I think she is on the right track. We seek to answer the questions "what are you?" or even "who are you?" But htese are not what people should be asking themselves. We should be asking "Where are you?"

 

Are you living in Jesus' promise that you are his?Are you in the Kingdom of God, where "Jesus is Lord!"? Where are you? Are you lving in Christ by faith? Are you in a trusting relationship that Jesus will take care of you, no matter what?

But there's more to where you should be. You should be living in your neighbor by love. The Christian is in two places, as Luther says, "The Christian does not live in himself, but in Christ and his neighbor."

Do not define yourself by who you think you are, or what you think you might be. Define yourself by where you are, and Jesus has told you exactly where that is. You are in his Kingdom. He is Lord, and he takes care of you. He forgives all the wrongdoing, he heals all the hurts, he even does away with death. And he gives you another place to be- in the lives of your friends and family and community. This means showing them the very love you have received from Jesus.

 

And when you figure out where you are, you might even realize who you are and what you were created to be.

Silence

Silence.
...
......
Leaving two lines devoid of words is almost too much time not caught up in something else. Something other than, well, silence. I should almost just skip this blog and go back to a page that will allow me to look at events, pictures, posts. There will be plenty to think about there.

No, I will think about silence today. I will practice silence today.
Even as I sit typing this, there is no silence.
     A clock ticks, a car accelerates, children laugh as they walk to school.
The strike of the keys on my keyboard puts more than just words on this page; they provide a          comforting click-click-click to make sure I do not sit in silence.

There's more noise, unobserved by the rest of the world. Thoughts darting in and out of my head, planning out my day, worrying about the days to come, and constantly feeling like there is something else that needs to get done.
There is something else I should be working on. There is something else to fill this silence.

Silence is uncomfortable. It's unsettling There is... time. Time to confront yourself, to ask the tough questions.
   Who am I, really?
     What am I doing here?
       Why am I trying to accomplish this?
          When will I finally learn that?
             Am I a good husband/brother/son/student?
               Am I really in control of my life?
My neighbor's dog barks as she leaves her apartment, allowing me the opportunity to stop asking such perilous questions.

Today, I will practice silence. But what does that mean? Not talking to others- maybe, but I see people all the time walking around with headphones or staring at a screen, much more sucked into sound than any person talking. Shall I remove myself from the world? But I must stay in the world; I have no time to leave my job, my worries, my thoughts. I must remain here, where I am in control.

The sirens blare past my apartment. God, I am trying to sit in silence! Do you think the violence could hold off for a few more minutes??

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
 ......

Come and see what the Lord has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. 

I am surrounded by noise. More than that, I am surrounded by brokenness and wars and crashing waves. But God is the one who is in control. God makes wars cease, and God holds me, even when the earth gives way.
Therefore, I will be still, and know that he is God. I will be still. I will be calm, confident. I will be still, and I will think about what it means that God is our fortress, even though the earth gives out and life looks pretty hopeless. I will rest securely, because the Lord Almighty is with me; the God of Jacob is my fortress. His profound protection leaves me in...

Silence.

Hope is not

I figured I would share a poem I wrote awhile back, in light of MLK Jr. Day, the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and the inauguration of a president whose tagline was "hope." 

Hope is not 

Many starve while many are filled,

And many more gorge themselves meal after meal,

becoming worse off than the hungry:

unappreciative and proudly obese. 

Give me only my daily bread,

So I will neither go hungry nor forget who gives.

Lost are those who have no one to follow,

More lost still is he who gets fat at the hand of a deceiver.
The lost who search look for what they lack,

but those who sit swallowing lies think they chew on something. 

Guide me in the truth,
So I forget not who leads.

Hope is what makes us human,

What keeps us alive: 

a desire for something better,

and a drive to search for it. 

Many have tried to give up this addiction,
But instead have gained a craving for false hopes and dreams. 
Fill me with the hope that comes from knowing who gives, and who leads.

Although many are lost, hope is not.

More Than Enough for Taste

        While watching the Packers succumb to a horrible defeat on Saturday, I made the best of a pretty lousy game by eating pizza and nachos and cheese with my wife and her family. And did you know that in 7 tortilla chips you can get 5% of your daily needs for sodium, and in one slice of pizza you get about 30%? So after four slices of pizza, and half a bag of chips, I went way over on my salt intake, and that doesn't even account for the cheese dip... But there just seems to be something truly patriotic about watching football while ingesting insane amounts of sodium. Salt just makes everything taste better, am I right??

      And this was the mindset I read Matthew 5:13 with. Jesus said, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt of the earth loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men." Salt makes things taste good, and it is better in high quantities. Chinese food, pizza, Italian: everything that is good is salty. Including the people of God. Christians provide the flavor to the world. Christians make the world "taste good" to God. That's how I took Jesus' words.

Until I had a conversation with my dad.

     He told me that he didn't think that's the way Jesus meant it. Jesus doesn't want us all to die from high cholesterol and heart attacks. Salt was the main preservative of the ancient world; they didn't have all of these fancy chemicals and canning processes we do nowadays. Jesus was telling his followers that they are supposed to preserve the world. Jesus' disciples help to keep the world fresh.

     Well, needless to say, my father's words gave me a deep insight into the heart of Jesus. Jesus wants his disciples to keep the world from perishing. He wants his followers to take care of people in need, to help out in their communities, to act lovingly toward everyone. This type of saltiness will keep the world moving forward and keep Jesus' Kingdom growing. (This type of saltiness might mean that we advocate for less saltiness in foods and fight against childhood obesity and malnutrition!) We are supposed to keep this place around us fresh.

     Jesus has rescued you. Through his resurrection from the dead, he has secured life for you! He has delivered you from the things that once enslaved you. And now, Jesus has put you somewhere to preserve life in your community. There might be elderly people in need of someone to talk to. There might be children in need of some tutoring. There might be abused people, poor people, smart people, uneducated people who need someone to help preserve their lives. People around you need rescuing! A famous theologian once said that if there is nothing more to the Christian life than believing in Jesus and trusting in his promises, then Christians should just be taken immediately to heaven once they believe. But that is not the case; we have been given time and a task. How can and will you do something to be the "salt of the earth" Jesus asks you to be?

Commitment-stache

Today, I'm rocking a mustache. Does my wife approve? No. Does my wife even know yet? No, but it doesn't matter. Today, I'm rocking a mustache.

Now, you might want to ask why I would I do such a thing. ("Ethan, why would you do such a thing?") And I'll tell you: commitment.

That's right, commitment. Nowadays, there is a lack of commitment in the every day person: he won't commit to a relationship, she won't commit to a job. And that's just the beginning. People aren't holding on to the important things in life, and they are not taking a stand for something long-lasting. They simply aren't willing to put in the effort.

Case in point: today most guys walk around with a three day- no shave look (yours truly included). And how noncommital is that? "I don't want to take the time to grow a real beard, and I don't want to have to shave. A real beard would be way too itchy, and a razor hurts my delicate skin... I know, I'll just stay right at this in-between phase, that'll be easy." And yes, that three day- no shave look works, (thank you, Brett Favre) and most guys pull it off. Not to mention, women dig it. But at the core, such men lack commitment to something, and the effort to stick with it.

Enter the mustache. My dad has been committed to the mustache for over 30 years, and he has no intention of leaving that sucker any day soon. He's had that plump portion of hair stuck to his upper lip longer than he's been married to my mother! He's committed, and you just don't see that kind of commitment any more.

The mustache I sport today stands for something. It stands for commitment. It stands for a man willing to put in the effort to stick it to a generation of men stuck between itchy beards and delicate skin, between video games and Taco Bell. This mustache is a symbol that I will do my part to be a real man and give myself to causes, to family and friends, and to people in need. Today, my mustache will show the world how much I care!

Well, at least until my wife gets home...

Blessed Burden

Well. My first blog.

My first attempt at letting the whole world know what I think and why I think it.
And I get more than 160 characters.

I was inspired by my friend Tanner Olson (of course, after reading his blog) to start something new this year, and I decided entering the blogosphere would be the way to go.

blessed burden

I find myself between these two words often. 
Blessing.
Burden.

Life is quite burdensome. Bills to pay (I forgot to pay my internet bill last month, and they slapped me with a fee!), work to do, a cockroach-infested apartment, a dog to let out before she poops on the rug... There is always so much to do and to deal with. More than that, there are personal struggles: rejection, doubt, despair, anger, hopelessness. Sometimes, life can be quite... burdensome.

But these are really nothing compared to how "burdensome" the blessings in my life are. I got married to a beautiful, smart, compassionate woman, and we found out we are going to be parents soon. We might try to hide the facts behind romance and wishful thinking, but I have to love and cherish another person like God loves me! I'm going to be responsible for another person's life! Wow, these are far bigger burdens than any burdensome thing could ever be. If I take my blessings seriously, they are far heavier and weightier than all of the things I label as "burdens."

In the midst of these things, I heard Jesus cry out, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest! Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

     What we call "burdens" are what we ourselves do not give God control over. Our burdens feel overwhelming because we are trying to handle them on our own. Jesus is calling us to give him our whole lives. He will be our God, and we will be his people. He will carry us.
     What we call "blessings" are usually the most burdensome things. Although they are hard, they are given to us to make the most of.

God's biggest blessing is a people that put their hope and trust in him. God's biggest burden is caring for a people that sometimes fail to put their hope and trust in him, a people that he gave up his Son for.
My biggest blessing this year is a wife that loves and cherishes me, and a baby on the way. My biggest burden is loving and cherishing my wife as much as God loves the Church (or as close as I can get to that), and taking care of the new life God has entrusted to me. And Jesus has promised to carry me and my blessed burdens, never letting me out of his gentle care.

What's your blessed burden in 2013?