Silence

Silence.
...
......
Leaving two lines devoid of words is almost too much time not caught up in something else. Something other than, well, silence. I should almost just skip this blog and go back to a page that will allow me to look at events, pictures, posts. There will be plenty to think about there.

No, I will think about silence today. I will practice silence today.
Even as I sit typing this, there is no silence.
     A clock ticks, a car accelerates, children laugh as they walk to school.
The strike of the keys on my keyboard puts more than just words on this page; they provide a          comforting click-click-click to make sure I do not sit in silence.

There's more noise, unobserved by the rest of the world. Thoughts darting in and out of my head, planning out my day, worrying about the days to come, and constantly feeling like there is something else that needs to get done.
There is something else I should be working on. There is something else to fill this silence.

Silence is uncomfortable. It's unsettling There is... time. Time to confront yourself, to ask the tough questions.
   Who am I, really?
     What am I doing here?
       Why am I trying to accomplish this?
          When will I finally learn that?
             Am I a good husband/brother/son/student?
               Am I really in control of my life?
My neighbor's dog barks as she leaves her apartment, allowing me the opportunity to stop asking such perilous questions.

Today, I will practice silence. But what does that mean? Not talking to others- maybe, but I see people all the time walking around with headphones or staring at a screen, much more sucked into sound than any person talking. Shall I remove myself from the world? But I must stay in the world; I have no time to leave my job, my worries, my thoughts. I must remain here, where I am in control.

The sirens blare past my apartment. God, I am trying to sit in silence! Do you think the violence could hold off for a few more minutes??

Psalm 46
God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
 ......

Come and see what the Lord has done,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.
He makes wars cease
to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the shields^[d] with fire.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.”

The Lord Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. 

I am surrounded by noise. More than that, I am surrounded by brokenness and wars and crashing waves. But God is the one who is in control. God makes wars cease, and God holds me, even when the earth gives way.
Therefore, I will be still, and know that he is God. I will be still. I will be calm, confident. I will be still, and I will think about what it means that God is our fortress, even though the earth gives out and life looks pretty hopeless. I will rest securely, because the Lord Almighty is with me; the God of Jacob is my fortress. His profound protection leaves me in...

Silence.

Hope is not

I figured I would share a poem I wrote awhile back, in light of MLK Jr. Day, the 40th anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and the inauguration of a president whose tagline was "hope." 

Hope is not 

Many starve while many are filled,

And many more gorge themselves meal after meal,

becoming worse off than the hungry:

unappreciative and proudly obese. 

Give me only my daily bread,

So I will neither go hungry nor forget who gives.

Lost are those who have no one to follow,

More lost still is he who gets fat at the hand of a deceiver.
The lost who search look for what they lack,

but those who sit swallowing lies think they chew on something. 

Guide me in the truth,
So I forget not who leads.

Hope is what makes us human,

What keeps us alive: 

a desire for something better,

and a drive to search for it. 

Many have tried to give up this addiction,
But instead have gained a craving for false hopes and dreams. 
Fill me with the hope that comes from knowing who gives, and who leads.

Although many are lost, hope is not.

More Than Enough for Taste

        While watching the Packers succumb to a horrible defeat on Saturday, I made the best of a pretty lousy game by eating pizza and nachos and cheese with my wife and her family. And did you know that in 7 tortilla chips you can get 5% of your daily needs for sodium, and in one slice of pizza you get about 30%? So after four slices of pizza, and half a bag of chips, I went way over on my salt intake, and that doesn't even account for the cheese dip... But there just seems to be something truly patriotic about watching football while ingesting insane amounts of sodium. Salt just makes everything taste better, am I right??

      And this was the mindset I read Matthew 5:13 with. Jesus said, "You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt of the earth loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men." Salt makes things taste good, and it is better in high quantities. Chinese food, pizza, Italian: everything that is good is salty. Including the people of God. Christians provide the flavor to the world. Christians make the world "taste good" to God. That's how I took Jesus' words.

Until I had a conversation with my dad.

     He told me that he didn't think that's the way Jesus meant it. Jesus doesn't want us all to die from high cholesterol and heart attacks. Salt was the main preservative of the ancient world; they didn't have all of these fancy chemicals and canning processes we do nowadays. Jesus was telling his followers that they are supposed to preserve the world. Jesus' disciples help to keep the world fresh.

     Well, needless to say, my father's words gave me a deep insight into the heart of Jesus. Jesus wants his disciples to keep the world from perishing. He wants his followers to take care of people in need, to help out in their communities, to act lovingly toward everyone. This type of saltiness will keep the world moving forward and keep Jesus' Kingdom growing. (This type of saltiness might mean that we advocate for less saltiness in foods and fight against childhood obesity and malnutrition!) We are supposed to keep this place around us fresh.

     Jesus has rescued you. Through his resurrection from the dead, he has secured life for you! He has delivered you from the things that once enslaved you. And now, Jesus has put you somewhere to preserve life in your community. There might be elderly people in need of someone to talk to. There might be children in need of some tutoring. There might be abused people, poor people, smart people, uneducated people who need someone to help preserve their lives. People around you need rescuing! A famous theologian once said that if there is nothing more to the Christian life than believing in Jesus and trusting in his promises, then Christians should just be taken immediately to heaven once they believe. But that is not the case; we have been given time and a task. How can and will you do something to be the "salt of the earth" Jesus asks you to be?

Commitment-stache

Today, I'm rocking a mustache. Does my wife approve? No. Does my wife even know yet? No, but it doesn't matter. Today, I'm rocking a mustache.

Now, you might want to ask why I would I do such a thing. ("Ethan, why would you do such a thing?") And I'll tell you: commitment.

That's right, commitment. Nowadays, there is a lack of commitment in the every day person: he won't commit to a relationship, she won't commit to a job. And that's just the beginning. People aren't holding on to the important things in life, and they are not taking a stand for something long-lasting. They simply aren't willing to put in the effort.

Case in point: today most guys walk around with a three day- no shave look (yours truly included). And how noncommital is that? "I don't want to take the time to grow a real beard, and I don't want to have to shave. A real beard would be way too itchy, and a razor hurts my delicate skin... I know, I'll just stay right at this in-between phase, that'll be easy." And yes, that three day- no shave look works, (thank you, Brett Favre) and most guys pull it off. Not to mention, women dig it. But at the core, such men lack commitment to something, and the effort to stick with it.

Enter the mustache. My dad has been committed to the mustache for over 30 years, and he has no intention of leaving that sucker any day soon. He's had that plump portion of hair stuck to his upper lip longer than he's been married to my mother! He's committed, and you just don't see that kind of commitment any more.

The mustache I sport today stands for something. It stands for commitment. It stands for a man willing to put in the effort to stick it to a generation of men stuck between itchy beards and delicate skin, between video games and Taco Bell. This mustache is a symbol that I will do my part to be a real man and give myself to causes, to family and friends, and to people in need. Today, my mustache will show the world how much I care!

Well, at least until my wife gets home...

Blessed Burden

Well. My first blog.

My first attempt at letting the whole world know what I think and why I think it.
And I get more than 160 characters.

I was inspired by my friend Tanner Olson (of course, after reading his blog) to start something new this year, and I decided entering the blogosphere would be the way to go.

blessed burden

I find myself between these two words often. 
Blessing.
Burden.

Life is quite burdensome. Bills to pay (I forgot to pay my internet bill last month, and they slapped me with a fee!), work to do, a cockroach-infested apartment, a dog to let out before she poops on the rug... There is always so much to do and to deal with. More than that, there are personal struggles: rejection, doubt, despair, anger, hopelessness. Sometimes, life can be quite... burdensome.

But these are really nothing compared to how "burdensome" the blessings in my life are. I got married to a beautiful, smart, compassionate woman, and we found out we are going to be parents soon. We might try to hide the facts behind romance and wishful thinking, but I have to love and cherish another person like God loves me! I'm going to be responsible for another person's life! Wow, these are far bigger burdens than any burdensome thing could ever be. If I take my blessings seriously, they are far heavier and weightier than all of the things I label as "burdens."

In the midst of these things, I heard Jesus cry out, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest! Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

     What we call "burdens" are what we ourselves do not give God control over. Our burdens feel overwhelming because we are trying to handle them on our own. Jesus is calling us to give him our whole lives. He will be our God, and we will be his people. He will carry us.
     What we call "blessings" are usually the most burdensome things. Although they are hard, they are given to us to make the most of.

God's biggest blessing is a people that put their hope and trust in him. God's biggest burden is caring for a people that sometimes fail to put their hope and trust in him, a people that he gave up his Son for.
My biggest blessing this year is a wife that loves and cherishes me, and a baby on the way. My biggest burden is loving and cherishing my wife as much as God loves the Church (or as close as I can get to that), and taking care of the new life God has entrusted to me. And Jesus has promised to carry me and my blessed burdens, never letting me out of his gentle care.

What's your blessed burden in 2013?