A Day Forgotten, A Life Lived

I had just gotten back from a trip to Guatemala, and I began to write down some of the memories I made, the highlights that hung on tight. After I had written down some of my experiences, I wrote the date of one experience: 3-4-14. And that's when it hit me.

March 4th had come and passed. And I didn't even notice.

To you, March 4th might not mean anything. But to me, it marks a day of life change. It marks a day that has marked every day after it. It is a day that requires reflection, demands my attention, demands my life be put on pause. March 4th is a day I have written about many times (here, and here, not to mention countless notebook pages), maybe the renewal of my self- and God-discovery through writing. I don't know what else to do with what goes on in my soul on March 4th.

I lost three friends in a car accident on March 4th (3-4-05), and ever since that truly terrible tragedy, every March 4th has been a reflective day in my life. I made a public promise to live my life remembering the lives of Dan, Carrie, and Lisa. I demanded that others do the same, patterning their lives in a way that would show honor and respect for those who no longer live. I commanded my community and school to live differently. And when I forgot to remember the day, I felt a tinge of guilt in my heart. I felt like a betrayer, one who has forgotten about those he has sworn himself to. Have I left their lives in 2005? Have I forgotten my friends?

I stopped writing for a long moment. My eyes continued on to the story I had just written. It was about Manuel, and Carlos. It was about visiting them, and their little village nestled between farmland and banana plants at the bottom of an active volcano in El Rincon, Guatemala. I could tell you the rest of their story, but that will be saved for another day. As I read over the words I had just written, I realized something profound.

I was living out the promise I made. I was doing exactly what I should have been doing. I was serving other people, showing them that their lives mattered, telling them that they are special. I wasn't focused on reserving a special moment for meditation, but rather I had refocused my life to accomplish a mission. I had promised to honor Dan, Carrie, and Lisa, by showing love and compassion to the world, especially those who need it the most. And I was doing just that.

It is easy to live in fear when we lose loved ones. We are afraid to forget what they meant to us, and miss important days (I remember January 3rd, too!). And these days can keep us from weeks and years of living our lives. What I realized is that I honor these people through living, and not through fearing. Maybe you have lost a loved one. Maybe one of your loved ones is the same as mine. Don't live in fear of forgetting. Live as a remembrance. And it isn't too late. You probably have some unresolved issues with that person(s). It is time to move on, and just change. Make the change that you wish you would have before they died. Live the life you have been given.

And if you forget the day that you used to fear, reflect on what you actually did that day. Maybe you will realize that you honored them not by removing yourself from the world, but rather by living your life for others. Or maybe it's time to change the way you live every day, and not just one day. Don't worry about a day forgotten, go experience a life lived.


How are you living (or going to start living) to honor someone you have lost?