Light in the darkness

No one would come here, unless they had to.
No one would walk these streets, unless they were forced to.
No one would live here, unless they had nowhere else to go.

It's depressing to live here. It's depressing to be surrounded by dirty cars, dilapidated roads, demolished and disgusting homes. If you can even call these homes. The one place with Christmas lights up- they never take them down, and not even half of them work. You can see, smell, taste decay. The forlorn face of a five year old, the toothless woman, the alcoholic father: it's dark here. And everybody knows it.

The neighborhood with the perfectly manicured yards, the brand new cars, the swing set in the back: it seems different. Christmas lights strung up perfectly, Rudolph's red nose flashing on the rooftop. The neighborhood where people are happy to live, not scared to go out at night, where people want to raise a family: it seems different.

But it's not. It's dark there, too. Families are broken, guns are smoking, and children are toking just the same. You just can't see it from the road. The decay is on the inside, while the outside seems squeaky clean. It's dark here, even if the neighbors don't know it.

Can we evade brokenness? Can we outrun darkness? Can we escape the hopeless place which is the face of this earth? Can we ever expect peace, or are we just waiting for the darkness to consume us? The sun burns bright for half the day, if we're lucky. But it's not enough. It can't burn through the darkness, through my darkness. 93 million miles away is close enough to warm my face, but not my heart.

I need the sun to touch me. I need the sun to move into my neighborhood. I need the sun to do away with the dirt, dust, dilapidation. I need light to shine.

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Into this brokenness, this darkness, Jesus moved in. Into this dust, this decay, Jesus took up residence. Not afraid of trailer parks or private drives, Jesus moved in.

He didn't want merely to do away with darkness; he wanted to touch it, to consume it, to overcome it. He came close. Jesus dwelt in the dirt, in the darkness, born in a barn and born in flesh. And the light shined. Did away with disease, defeated way, loved the loveless, gave hope to the hopeless, made the world clear for the blind. Destroyed death. Destroyed darkness.

God cares about people in darkness. 93 million miles was too far for him; he wanted to dwell with his people. He wanted to be Immanuel- God with us. He wanted those living in darkness to know that he delighted in them, to feel the warmth of the sun in their hearts, to see the light of day in their world. He wanted them to dream in the daylight, a dream of what their streets would look like with Christmas lights not just hanging up during the winter, but rather the Christmas Light hanging out there year round. Dwelling there, year round. He wanted them to live in the security of his hope, his love, his peace, his joy.

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness a light has dawned.
You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy;
they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest,
as warriors rejoice when dividing the plunder.
For as in the day of Midian’s defeat, you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them, the bar across their shoulders,
    the rod of their oppressor.
Every warrior’s boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning, will be fuel for the fire.
For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
    and the government will be on his shoulders.And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
    Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end.
He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness
    from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the Lord Almighty will accomplish this.

Isaiah 9:2-7

Tomorrow is the Resurrection

In my first week of being a "pastor-in-training" I got asked if I wanted to make a hospital call, to go and visit someone who was in the hospital. It wasn't going to be a normal hospital visit; Bruce was on his deathbed. He had less than forty-eight hours to live. He had a white blood cell count in the millions. He had a misdiagnosed disease that was now destined to destroy his life. Just a week earlier, Bruce was on the golf course, thinking he had a normal life, and now, he was surrounded by his children, grandchildren, wife, and siblings. Dying. "He could die tomorrow," the pastor told me, "he could die today."

I had never witnessed such an intimate, vulnerable, raw time with a family before. These people were gathered together to take their last communion with their father. They were staring death in the face, and they didn't know what to do. They were lost in emotion, fear, and pain. So they did the only thing they knew to do: run to the cross, cling to the heavenly Meal, the foretaste of the feast to come. Hold on to the promises of the Prince of Peace, even- no especially- in the presence of pain and powerlessness.

I saw Bruce in church last week. Three months after getting a two day death-notice, he is still living. He made it through three death sentences, and he is close to full remission. Walking, laughing, golfing, living. He willingly admits he has experienced the miraculous. But the changed heart is something that is not as seen. He has a new perspective on life, on God, and especially on death. 

Last week, the Church celebrated "All Saints Day." The Church celebrated all the Christians who have died in the faith, the faithful lives they lived, and the hope we all have in the resurrection from the dead. Bruce's family would have been celebrating his life, and their hope that Jesus would raise him from the dead. Instead, they were celebrating his life with him. But Bruce was still celebrating the resurrection from the dead.

"Tomorrow is the resurrection," he told me. "One day you die, and the next is the Resurrection." Bruce's words hit me. I was standing in the presence of a man who should have died but was living. A man who should be awaiting Tomorrow. And I was. His experience had brought him to the realization that we are all awaiting Tomorrow, whether we're in the grave or not. Our hope lies in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, the one who died but lives. The one who has power over life and death. The one who can do anything.

We are all awaiting Tomorrow, when we will be renewed, in the presence of God, laughing, running, and jumping. We are all awaiting Tomorrow, when we will sit at the Table and feast, no more foretastes. We are all awaiting tomorrow, when we will be reunited with our loved ones who have died before us. Being touched by death made it evident to Bruce, and to me as well. We have hope, even in the face of death.

And, no matter where we are, Tomorrow isn't looking too bad.

Empty Pews

I had the opportunity to preach last weekend. I love preaching. I love being able to impact another person's heart and soul, to confront their perception of reality with transcendent Reality. It is a job I do not take lightly, nor should it be taken lightly.

The church I work at records sermons to put on the web and to give to those people who can't make it on Sundays. I found out this morning that my sermon didn't record right. In the process of finalization, it was all lost. So I'm going to have to re-record it, this time in front of empty pews.

People apologized for the inconvenience this would cause for me. There will be no energy, no feedback, no faces to engage. There will be no build up to the sermon with a wonderful rendition of "Build Your Kingdom Here", no prayers, no praise. Just me, and a microphone, and empty pews.

I look out on empty pews, reminded of the faces that filled them just a couple days before. And I wonder. Did my message change them? Did they live this Monday differently from the one before?
But, as I get ready, I reflect on reality. I do have a listener. I do have two ears and one heart listening in on this sermon, and they might be the most crucial. My own. I get the opportunity to impact hundreds of people's lives through my words, but if my own heart is left unchanged, it is all for naught. If the cause I communicate is so un-compelling that it does not change me, then I have no reason to expect that it should impact others. No reason to utter anything. Will my Monday be different from the one before?

So, I prepare for empty pews. I prepare for one person. The Preacher himself. I have been caught up in a Story, in a Message. And that story is changing my life. And I ask my hearers to go where I am going, too. That means when I tell others to love their spouses, I take that first upon myself. When I tell others to give back- I must take it seriously. We go together on a journey of faith; I am not special. I walk together with all others, asking them if they will come with me on a journey, a journey of re-formation, integration. A journey where we follow a Savior who first traversed the Way he leads us on. A journey with a Savior who bids, "Come, follow me." We go on a journey where the pews must be empty for the Message to move.

The Alpha and Omega (part 2)

Last week, I started a poem on Psalm 119. The psalm is an acrostic of sorts, representing all the letters of the Hebrew alphabet. And so it continues...


ל

Lord, your word and faithfulness carry on forever.
Laws of yours endure unto eternity, preserving my life for just as long.
Limits are put on everything- wealth, fame, goodness- but your commands are without limit.

מ

Meditating on your words, Lord, brings such richness to my life.
More wisdom, more insight, more understanding, more life: all mine because of your word.
My mouth drips with honey when I taste the morsels of Truth and goodness found in your Book.

נ

Now I can see on my path, thanks to the light of your Word!
Not only do I struggle from my own faults, others are doing their best to knock me off your path.
Nevertheless, I have set my heart on keeping your decrees, on sticking to this path forever.

ס

Sick, sinister, sinful people disgust me, and their intolerance for your Word makes me sad.
Sustain me, even though I am tempted to be like those people. You are my only source of life.
Seeing how you deal with sin scares me to death; I stand in awe of your sovereignty.

ע

I am your servant; help me to understand your command, so that I can carry it out.
I am doing my part, Lord. I am looking for you in all places and following your law.
It is time for you to act now, Lord. Punish the lawbreakers, and make my reward your Word.

פ

Pure light pours forth from the unfolding of your words.
Powerful waters permeate the dry desert where your words were lacking.
Please, Lord, place me in your presence, and let no sin rule over me.

צ

Tsunami-like zeal keeps me focused on your statutes.
Tsk, tsk, all you who ignore God's Word! Oh, I'm getting tired of saying it.
Tsk, tsk, you who are distressed and displeased! God's Word could be your delight!

ק

Quietly, in the night, even before the dawn, I meditate on your promises to save me.
Quell the restlessness within me, the fear I have from evil near me.
Quickly have I learned that you are near, O Lord, and your word is in my heart and my mouth.

ר

Redeem me Lord, buy me back, even the worst parts of me; I know you are compassionate.
Rescue me from persecution and pain. I know you use them for your purposes, but I am ready,
Ready and waiting for the fulfillment of your eternal promises. Preserve my life!

ש

Shudder at the power of people? Never. But I tremble when I hear the Lord speak a single word!
Shaking notwithstanding, your words bring me such joy, and I seek to obey them with all my heart.
Shalom, complete peace, comes to all of those who love your law, Lord, and keep your commands.

ת

The lips and tongue you gave me can do nothing but shout and sing, pray and praise your name!
These laws you left us sustain me in this place.
Though I wander like I'm lost, seek me out and find me, Lord. Make me yours.

The Alpha and Omega (part 1)

Psalm 119 is long. Really long. 176 verses long. And this makes it a very intimidating Psalm to read.
But Psalm 119 is a beautiful poem, containing some beautiful truths about the Word of God. And, even though it takes 176 verses, the Psalm doesn't exhaust how much can be said about God's Word for us and to us.

And, tragically, our English Bibles hide some of the rich imagery of Psalm 119. You see, the poem is an acrostic of the entire alphabet. Eight verses dedicated to just one letter, then on to the next. Our vocabulary finds its fulfillment in the very vernacular of our God. From A to Z, Alpha to Omega, Aleph to Taw, our language is rooted in the loving law of God. So, what follows is my attempt at bringing some justice to the aspect of God's all-encompassing Word to the poem, Psalm 119.

 

א

All your commands are good,
Anyone who perfectly keeps them- blessed.
Ah! If only I could... I will Lord, bless me!

ב

Boys have a huge hill to climb to get to holiness,
But I am doing it by dwelling on your word day and night.
Behind every action of mine is the desire to honor and praise you.

ג

Give me life, Lord, do good to me.
Going on this path, I see only what you show me, since my home is with you.
Governors and statesmen mock me, but I find my peace and delight in you.

ד

Deal with me, Lord, when I'm down in the dust and weary with worry.
Determining my path based on your word, my heart is set on understanding.
Don't let me be bound up, for I run fast and free on the way of truth.

ה

Halt, stop, the evil within me, Lord, and turn me toward your righteous words and ways.
Here, right now, I demand you take me by the hand, instruct my head and heart in your holy decrees.
How I long, o Lord, for the fulfillment of your promise! Preserve my life in your righteousness.

ו

Words come at me from all directions, but I hold fast to yours Lord. Keep them coming!
Where obedience means freedom- that's where I will walk.
Whenever words are demanded from me, I will put forth the ones I love- yours.

ז

Zeal for your ancient words brings me comfort, even when people are zealous for wickedness.
Zap my name, you arrogant mockers, but you cannot take away my hope and promise.
Zero songs will I sing, O Lord, if my song is not your decrees, your name, your Torah.

ח

Counting on you, I am sure I will have more than enough- forever.
Consider my ways - so much different from the wicked - as I walk, guided by your face.
Continue to fill me with your love, oh Lord, as the whole earth is filled with your love.

ט

Teach me knowledge, teach me goodness, teach me service.
Tainted, tarnished, tattered: when you afflicted me, God, it pushed me to trust in you even more.
Tons of cash, tireless fame, or time in the spotlight couldn't keep me from keeping your decrees.

י

You are the maker of the earth, You are the giver of wisdom, You are the reason for hope and joy.
You love me without fail, even when others don't.
You are life-giving, life-sustaining; give me life and sustain me. You are "I am."

כ

"Keep going, keep going!" I tell myself, as I press on, tired, toward your salvation.
Kindness is a byword in the mouth of my enemies, and I'm tempted to say the same about you God...
Keep me in your Word and remind me of your love, especially in these troubling times.

Baptism (Romans 6)

Water. Word. My life of death.

I wake up in the morning, supposed to kill myself. Daily dying, I’m already dead-

I’ve been drowned in the font, my robes soaked red.

What does that mean- already dead?
I barely wake up, and sin is in my head. I can’t understand death, or even life, until I look to the death and resurrection of Christ. He died on a cross, on a blood-stained tree, hung lifeless, murdered brutally.
People thought futilely He was done, they put him in the ground, thought they had won.
But they didn’t realize what they actually won.
Jesus came back to life- that’s what they won.
 

Life. In Christ. The one who died but lives.

The price of death was paid, and the power of God was proven. Now he gives
Resurrection life to us- He daily forgives. In addition to that he kills, puts my sin to death on the cross along with Him. And he does it again and again.

See, we have a God who is God of the living. Death doesn’t stop Him, He keeps on giving life,

and new life, it’s a daily thing. Every day that we’re drowned- another day raised.
We have the power of Christ- God be praised for working resurrection in us-
A life of grace and peace, and righteousness.
The life we live- it’s Christ in us.

No longer a slave to sin and evil, Jesus made us His siblings- He made us His equal. Brothers and sisters, washed clean, through water and Word, he gave us everything we didn’t deserve.

We’ve got a daily struggle with death and life, waking up every morning to brokenness and lies. But I’ve got a choice every morning, before getting out of bed; will I hear God’s voice this morning? Will I fall down dead? Will Christ’s life be my life this morning? Will I hear what God said?

Romans 6-

“We were buried with Jesus by baptism into death,

So that we can be raised with him out of that death,

By the glory of the Father we’ve been given new Breath.

Baptism- Jesus gives us resurrection life and does away with our death."

The Right Light

I have failed.

I skipped over four months of writing a blog! I made a New Year's Resolution to myself that I would write a blog every week. It might have been a zealous goal, but I did make a New Year's Resolution. I wanted to challenge myself to write on a weekly basis, to flesh out thoughts, to deepen my understanding of things, to realize more about myself and the world around me. But I have failed.

But I might just be seeing things in the wrong light.

In four months, I have had a child, directed a summer camp, moved to Wisconsin, and started an internship. It's been a little busy, to say the least. I have had different priorities. I have had some different goals and resolutions to make good on, things that far outweigh the importance of a blog that my mom and 4.5 other people read.

In the right light, giving up writing a blog for more time with my wife and son and other work commitments is actually a good thing. In the right light, I am doing better with what I've been given.

What light are you seeing your life in? Are you looking at trivial things and determining your worth? Are you investing your time into the wrong things? You have been given things to do as well. Maybe it's a family, a job, school, sports. You have priorities. Make the most important things most important, and then start blogging (or doing whatever trivial things you enjoy to do).

Thanks for putting up with a four month hiatus. Maybe there's something in your life that needs a four month hiatus as well...